WALK AWAY RENEE (Alternate Version)

She said it was just a figment of speech
And I said, "You mean figure don't you ?"
And she said, "No"
Just like that, "No"
And I said you take that bass out of your voice when you speak to me
And she said, "No, figment"
Because she could never imagine it happening
Much like Tottenham Hotspur eventually winning at home
But it did

When we first met I played the shy boy
And when she spoke to me for the first time
My nose began to bleed
Then I never was very good at heights, was I
The next time we went on a bus ride down to the ferry on a Sunday afternoon
And when no one came to collect our fares
Well, I knew then instinctively this was something really different
A love affair that defied the capitalist system
I couldn’t stop thinking about her
And every time I turned on the radio
There was someone else singing a song about the two of us
"I think we're alone now..."
It was like being on a fast ride at the funfair
When you're on you wanna get off because you're really scared
Once you’re off you wanna get straight back on again
To prove some stupid macho bullshit to your mates
But our love is strange - ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
Particularly on this tour
And if you're forced to be philosophical like I was
Well, I guess you have to take the crunchy with the smooth sometimes
She began going out with Mr. Potato Head
It was when I saw her in the car park
At The Robin Hood in Dagenham opposite the technical college
Let's get specific, eh
You think this is a joke but this happened to me
It's not some kind of like weirdo trippy thing
This is my life I'm saying here, you know
It was then that I realised
I went home and thought about the two of them together
Until the bath water went cold around me
I thought about her eyes and the curve of her breasts
And the way his head was much bigger than his body
And he had these wonky glasses on and this little hat that's like so weird
I confronted her about it
I said, "Why's his head bigger than his body
and his body's like plastic isn't it ?"
I confronted her about it
I said "I'm the most illegible bachelor in this town"
And she said, "Yea, that why I can never understand
Any of those stupid letters you send me
And what does cunnilongus mean anyway ?"